Alfred and his wife paid off $70,000 worth of debt in just over 2 years, but decided to hit the pause button on their debt-free journey.
Learn the powerful reason they made this decision on today’s episode.
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Alfred Wilson 0:00
We weren't on the same page, weren't communicating about money. So you know what, let's just pause, I'd much rather have my marriage than be debt free.
Unknown Speaker 0:11
You're listening to the Winning to wealth Podcast, where you'll hear real stories from real people who are on the path to building real wealth. These stories will show you how to earn more money, pay off debt, start investing, and make better money choices so you can build wealth for your future. Now, here's your host, Michael Lacy,
Michael Lacy 0:33
what's up? What's up? What's up teammates. This is Episode 38 of the Winning To Wealth podcast. And on this week's episode, we're going to talk about what happens when you get burnt out on your debt free journey. I brought on a great guest to talk about this subject with me Mr. Alfred Wilson, who is the brains behind the brand frugal Freddy. Alfred and his wife paid off a ton of debt right after getting married, but along the Journey he realized that their financial priorities were changing. And they decided to pause on their debt free journey. I wanted to interview Alfred because I'm all about keeping it real on this show. And burnout is a very, very real part of the debt free journey. With that said, I think it's just as important to share these kinds of stories as it is to share stories where someone becomes debt free because you may find yourself in a situation someday where you're facing burnout and you need a reminder on how to handle it. And so it's important to hear stories like Alfred's for that very reason. Also, Alfred mentions a few resources and a few different ways that you can connect with him throughout this episode. So if there's something you'd like to check out for yourself, head over to winning to wealth comm slash Episode 38 and look for the resources section. I'm going to link to everything right there so you're not having to try and remember Every single thing that you want to look into as a result of this interview, but let's jump right into this interview with Mr. Alfred Wilson, aka frugal, Freddy. So Freddy, welcome to the show. Man. I am so excited to have you on. I've been following you on Instagram for a while. And again, just excited to have this conversation and share more of your story. So thank you again for deciding to come on and do this with me.
Alfred Wilson 2:27
Thank you, man. Thanks for having me. I can't wait to talk about all this debt free journey stuff and family and money and all that good stuff.
Michael Lacy 2:36
Absolutely. Absolutely. So speaking of family, I mean, while we're right there, let's just start back at the beginning. So can you share just the story of like you and your wife meeting and becoming a couple and like how everything came to be with you guys.
Alfred Wilson 2:49
Oh, man, we have a very interesting story. So long story short, we had a mutual friend that hosted like a kick back at her home. I wasn't New to the city. Rosie from Cleveland moved down to Columbus, Ohio. So you know the girls after me No, I'm joking. But
you know, with your
with their friends, I'm so short. It was a discussion night. So we were talking about different things. And she came in with her girls and that came to her by myself. So I didn't know anybody. We kind of had a little exchange about good guys versus bad guys and how good guys or bad like it was some crazy stuff, man. But I never said anything directly to her. I never approached her to say Hey, my name is Alfred. Hey, I would like you know, get your number because I didn't know she had a boyfriend or not. So eventually, I found her on Instagram. And I slid in her DMS and you know I got the number but she always said that she checked me out on LinkedIn before she gave me her number to see if I was legit. So we got to that point got a number of them the first time we first time we spoke on the phone and we spoke for four hours straight She was traveling for work. So she was in New Mexico. And I was at, you know, Columbia just chillin on a Friday night and we just, you know, we were just chopping it up and talking about life and it was just you know, the rest is history from there man literally slid in the limbs and now she's my wife,
Michael Lacy 4:16
man. You know what, you know, social media gets a bad rap man. But there are a lot of stories that start off that way. Even my wife and I mean, we were friends beforehand, we kind of knew each other. But I reached out on social media just as a friend and say, Hi, I saw she was posting some stuff look like she was having a tough time. So it's late in the day. Hey, what's up? Later, we were dating and like, married and it's been, you know, a whirlwind of a journey. So beautiful story, man, beautiful story. But I want to ask, you know, like, as you guys are navigating that right, and you're starting to date, like what is your financial situation like as individuals?
Alfred Wilson 4:53
That's a great question. And so at that time, I had about 104 $45,000 in debt, mostly a little student loan, and she had about 20 and she, you know, she was able to pay that off before we got married. But even before that, you know, our debt makeup was totally different you know, I'm bringing all this and to be honest on our either first or second day, I told her about them like, Hey, I'm serious about this I want you to know up front because I was dating to get married and I knew she could potentially be my wife. So hey, I'm coming to the table with this I want to let you know ahead of time so you can make the decision to leave or stay as you stay. And you know, as we you know, was dating and you know, I was courting her really understanding our money makeup so she's she is the spender and I'm the saver. However, I think we both balance each other out but sometimes at one point I was feeling guilty about spending money and see what kind of puzzle Hey, you know, buy something for yourself and that's okay. You know, don't feel bad about That. And sometimes I tell Hey, you got to slow down the spinner. You know, you know, definitely miss beers was just like it is always good to have that mistake. So I think we definitely balance each other out because we come from totally different backgrounds and totally different perspectives when it comes to money.
Michael Lacy 6:16
You know, I'm not gonna let you slide by without addressing the fact that you brought up that you had $145,000 on first date, like, yeah, that is not in the manual, man. Like I don't talk about that. conversate I mean, so you know, you come clean and you're like, I look, I got all this debt, like, What is her reaction is she like, Whoa, or what? You know, what was that conversation? Like? I think
Alfred Wilson 6:42
she was definitely like, shocked and wasn't expecting it. And like I said, like, I was dating to get married, and I didn't want anything to come in between that. I don't want any surprises once we like, really got serious like, oh, by the way, felice. I got $145,000 worth of debt. I at least want to have it up. What so she can be in a position to make that decision. But initially, she's human like she was shocked by it. But one thing that she told me was like, it wasn't that that was just crazy that it wasn't credit card debt. I wasn't just going out ball Now, going on vacations every weekend and just, you know, cashing out everywhere or credit, credit card debt in and everywhere. It was something for my future something that was an investment for my, my education. And I think if the debt was different, I think she would have definitely had a different perspective. But with it being mostly student loan debt, and then my car, she understood where I was coming from.
Michael Lacy 7:36
Okay, so do you mind like sharing your income range around that time?
Alfred Wilson 7:41
Around that time for me? I was mid 60s.
Michael Lacy 7:46
Okay, okay. So kind of in the 60s with $145,000 in debt, like did you feel like you were struggling with money or they are busy again, just kind of like one of those things where it's student loans like this is normal. This is what I was supposed to do like, or did you again feel that financial pressure of like, Man, I'm struggling to make ends meet every month kind of what was going on with you around that time,
Alfred Wilson 8:09
it was just a lot of like, having the perspective in the mind state that student loans was normal. And as I, you know, began to educate myself, it wasn't normal. So it really wasn't a money thing. It really was a mental mentality type of thing for me. And I remember I read you know, the total money makeover and that would really kick everything off. That little book, I read it within a weekend and I'm like, this is something I always needed because money was never an issue. And I was living well below my means. had a nice apartment. That was a below market rate. So I could have definitely paid it off. A lot more before I even got married. But that would jumpstart everything now was side hustling worked at Subway, while working at like a minute. ager Baking Company down in Columbus. And I had to put my side of pride and pride aside and just really grind out and make it happen.
Michael Lacy 9:10
Wow. Okay, so you got all these side hustles. But like before we get to that part, I mean, what was going on? Because you said I mean, you know this feels normal. So what was that wake up call like what happened in your life that made you realize that you actually wanted to really lock in and start attacking the debt.
Alfred Wilson 9:28
I knew I wanted to start a family and I knew that she wanted to start a family and have kids and all that good stuff. It really was that like that wake up call like us getting engaged in things begin to become very real for us a we're going to have a family so I didn't want to leave a burden back for my family if my wife and I can knock out this debt before children get old, and adults. We're going to do it now. And to me out It hasn't been the easiest journey, but it's definitely been an eye opening. journey and definitely was needed so we can change that perspective. And that projection for our family going forward. Okay,
Michael Lacy 10:08
and so I know you mentioned the side hustles. And I definitely want to touch on that in a second. But can you talk about just some of the things that you did early on in your journey that really kind of helped you kickstart thing and start making progress? Once you have made that commitment?
Alfred Wilson 10:23
I would definitely say, writing down our goals. We knew we had a goal of being debt free, but how do we get there and I know the one thing that really just helped us is budgeting and I know people, it sounds cliche, but budgeting really helped us get to that point because we were able to really tell our money, where to go like it, you know, some must, man we were paying $5,000 just towards student loan debt, and we were blessed enough to be in a position to make the money that we're making to do that. And if we didn't have that budget and those goals in mind, I don't think we could have achieved what we have achieved so far.
Michael Lacy 10:57
Okay, and so again, and I want to Also touch on the side hustle. So can you go into like, you know, what some of those side hustles were again, and then what that experience is was like, you know, being a working professional during the day, and then out hustling at night and like trying to find time to sleep and like, just kind of walk through what that's like,
Alfred Wilson 11:18
right now. I think that the first time has like I said it was working at Subway, making sandwiches prepping vegetables, and it was very, it was a humbling experience man, like you go from this nine to five corporate guy to work in a subway where you know, how society portrays thing like you don't see that happen. So called real life, but it happens in real life. But I knew, you know, we had a goal in mind. So I was willing to do anything to get to that goal. If it was, you know, putting my pride aside to work at Subway. I have a bachelor's, I have an MBA and sometimes I think, you know, some people may have that, you know, be very prideful that but I say no, forget that. I need to get rid of the debt. So I don't care. I don't care about my MBA. I don't I went to college at this debt gotta be gone so I did subway for a period of time. I worked at target for most of the you know, throughout this journey I don't work there anymore. But I worked at Target. Man, target was love man, I was getting paid very well per hour. Got a lot of good hours But to your point, trying to do a nine to five work a part time job and getting home at midnight every night, wasn't sustainable. It was draining, and trying to wake back up the next morning and be the best professional I can be. So I work at target for a period of time I delivered food through Postmates for a period of time. And most recently, man like this was setting the joke in our home and making some money off of that. And having yard sales last summer. We had yard sales every weekend. And we will literally just post up on the corner by our home and people will drive by him and buy some things and keep it going. Currently, I'm not really sad husband. I'm a father. Now we haven't However it is trying to find different income streams to be able to put towards a debt or even save. Right now got the frugal Freddy brand going on selling a couple t shirts. I've been fortunate enough to make some money off of that. So I'm utilizing that money to definitely pay towards the debt and also build a frugal Freddy brand.
Michael Lacy 13:20
Gotcha, man. That's cool. That's real cool. Real Life hustling right there. I love I love it. So, you know, let's talk about because again, you're you're married at that time like saying you're a father now so how did your wife feel as you're you know, doing all these side hustles like what she mostly on board with that? or was she kind of like, I you know what, it's what we got to do, but I don't really like it. Like, what was the effect on your marriage that that all that work?
Alfred Wilson 13:46
that's a that's a loaded question.
To be honest, man, like, it's a little bit of everything. Of course. Initially, she's on board, but she's human. So like, Yeah, she wants her husband at home. She wants to spend that time. Um, at one time when I was working at Target, she was maybe seven months pregnant, and I wasn't home. So it's just like, it definitely took a toll on me personally, as well as our marriage. But I mean, ultimately, she's on board. But now it looks differently. Okay, let's, let's leverage the frugal Freddy brand to bring in more income, you know, you're at home while you're doing that. You're not out in the bar around people and not in the home at night. So.
Michael Lacy 14:29
So I mean, let's talk about that. Because, you know, maybe there's somebody that's in that position right now where they're side hustling, or they're wanting to do it, but they also don't really kind of want to sacrifice that time away or anything, or they're having those discussions where, you know, it's husband and wife and like, for the most part, they're on the same page, but maybe the method is not really jiving right now with both parties. So how do you go about kind of resolving that and not allowing that to spill over into some form of tension in your marriage?
Alfred Wilson 14:59
Yeah, I was Definitely just communicating. I know one thing that we need to get better at is having our monthly family meeting. And I think those are the platforms at times to talk about that, like, hey, most, I think the couples on the same page about whatever the goal is that they're achieving. That's what's important. And we've definitely had our challenges, communicating, understand each other's perspective when it comes to the debt. And then outside of just the debt, just family relationship, marriage. And also one other thing I would highly recommend going to couples counseling, because that's been a lifesaver for us for our relationship as we're navigating this season of our marriage is not a permanent season is a very brief season. And once we get past this, I always tell my wife, what's gonna go past this and then we can conquer anything that we put our mind to as a couple.
Michael Lacy 15:50
You know, I love that you said that. I was recently I did an interview. I think it was CNBC recently, where we talked about that and that was the exact same thing. Like what I felt like once we became debt free, because our journey was so dang hard, like, I felt like there's there was really nothing that was gonna come between us and looking back on it like it was right for the most part, like, we don't really fight about money anymore. We have, you know, the resources to work where we want and how we want and not have that impact our time together. And so, like we eliminated so much of the traditional money fights and marriage fights just by getting out of debt. So I completely agree with you, right, like it is it does transform your marriage. But back to the to the debt free story. I mean, when you guys were starting back at the beginning, did you have a target date in mind that you were aiming for?
Alfred Wilson 16:42
Oh, definitely. It was by the end of this year,
Michael Lacy 16:45
by the end of this year. Okay. And so I mean, how's that going? Let's talk about that. Like, let's actually let's go back to like, What year did you guys start and then where are you now?
Alfred Wilson 16:56
So officially as a married couple. We started October. 2017 when we got married, but before we got married, I had a goal of paying off my car before we got married. And like one small student loan. So I did that when we got married officially starting October 2017. And we just been grinding ever since. And we had a goal. I know at the end of 2020, we will be debt free. But life happens. And we knew, you know, when we had a kid, priorities had to change and it couldn't be so much about being debt free. It was about being parents and being there for our daughter. So that's what kind of alter the strategy and the timeframe. And I was telling, you know, me, my wife saw about this all the time, you know, we want to be debt free, although it didn't happen the time that we may have wanted it to. But at the end of the day, we will be debt free.
Michael Lacy 17:51
Right. Okay. And so. So when did you guys decide to take the pause and then what was the motivation for that? for positive journey.
Alfred Wilson 18:01
It we decided to take a pause in December of 2019. Around that time, we you know, we were trying to prepare for holidays Christmas shopping all that the budget was in shambles. We actually overdraft our account a couple times. Thank God we have a savings account that saver but but we weren't on the same page you were communicating about money. I see. You know what this is Paul, I'd much rather have my marriage than be debt free. So let's just take a pause like, this is money at the end of the day, Paul, so we decided to take a pause. And also around that time we decided that we want to buy our first home as well. So we're actively looking for our first home. It's been very interesting process so far. The market that we live in is very competitive. So right now we're having like a hybrid approach. So you know, we're attacking, you know, some of the smaller debts, but we're not really attacking it like we may pay extra hundred dollars on that debt compared to maybe paying $1,000 on that debt. But you know stockpiling cash for a sizable downpayment for our first home, and being able to have a home that we know that we can call home a place that we can call home.
Michael Lacy 19:14
Okay. And so when you guys made that decision to pause that last one, they're like, how much debt Have you paid off? Up to that point?
Alfred Wilson 19:24
We were maybe about 70,000. Okay. I think that's how the math works. Yeah, about about 70 because right now we're about 60,000. Yeah, we paid about 72 throughout that whole time. Yeah.
Michael Lacy 19:38
So you were making good progress, like you were killing it. I mean,
it wasn't like you were struggling like you're not I mean, like you You weren't making profit, like you're, you're seeing progress, but at the same time you decide, you know what, our marriage is more important right now and like that's the thing we need to focus on and let's shift the focus and I love that like personal finances personally. That's the very first word is personal. So I love the fact that you took that time away and said, You know what, let's focus on us. That way we're stronger. And then once we decide to do this again, then you know what we're in a much better place in our marriage. And we can make even more progress if we decide to go back that way. So I love it. But, you know, it leaves me to ask like, even though you guys made that decision, was it like did you find yourself being disappointed or like having those feelings of like, man like, you know, kind of feeling down about not paying the debt like you were every month?
Alfred Wilson 20:34
Yeah, definitely. Yeah, I think you know, as being humans, we definitely we had a goal but you know, and I guess normal term, you will say they didn't hit the goal, but I think we definitely hit our goal like to make that much progress and that amount of time, and cash flow into winning, becoming parents before we're in adversity and dealing with just, you know, struggles at work on both our parts and different things that happen in the world. I think it was a success. However, you know, you know, social media could be a gift and a curse. And I would say for me, compare myself to other people that became debt free. You hear the story, I became debt free in two months, and I paid off my wall. That's not good for me to even listen to hear, because not saying that those stories aren't true. I'm just trying to compare our journey to other people's earning wasn't value added for us. So we had to work at our own pace. And we know we have a goal of being debt free, however, is going to look and feel you know, from person to person from couple to couple.
Michael Lacy 21:36
You know, man, you're killing it. So
I'm serious, though, because that's so true. Like we talk a lot, especially in the personal finance space. We talk a lot about Oh, don't keep up with the Joneses. And we look at it from a spending point like, Oh, your neighbor bought a car and now you want a car. Are you keeping up with the Joneses? But we do the same thing. Like we look at other people's savings rates and we say ah, Man, I'm not there yet, or we look at how fast they paid off debt or whatever. And we go Oh man, I'm not there yet. So it's literally the exact same mentality. Mm hmm. But it's different because we you know, we feel it's different because we feel like what we're doing is noble right and so, man, that's, that's, that's good. I'm glad you brought that point up. You just like really opened my eyes and I might have to do a solo episode on that.
Alfred Wilson 22:24
Please do because I mean, I fell victim to that man like, you see, you just see like, Hey, you know, I wish I was at that point. However, one thing that I've learned through this journey is that although we're trying to become debt free, you can still live your life. And we were to a point where we didn't live our life. I we haven't taken a honeymoon yet and I feel so bad about that. And once you know Coronavirus go away and we're more comfortable about traveling. When we have a honeymoon was going to be the best honeymoon ever. Like if we can live or go somewhere for a month. I want to do that. Cuz I owe that to my wife because this journey is definitely started by me or you know, because of me. I want to pay that back to her. You know what I mean?
Michael Lacy 23:09
Right? Absolutely, absolutely. I mean, let's talk about that because we are living through a pandemic right now. And so, like, how has that, like shifted your perspective on personal finance? The reason I asked that is because, like, you know, I was laid off, I lost my job and like, all these other things, and it's really shifted my priorities because I was that guy that was like, Alright, let's let's hit it. Let's get it as fast as we can. And then now I'm being forced to sit with my thoughts and realize like, oh, what you really want is more time with your family and like you don't have to be a millionaire to have more time with your family or you can just decide to do it right. So how has living through this shifted your, you know, financial mentality, if at all?
Alfred Wilson 23:52
Oh, it definitely shifted it. Even just the senior point, haven't had time to yourself to kind of reflect like, it was Really important right now? Is it becoming debt free or being able to have a nice stockpile of money? Because we don't know what's to come from this from 334 months from now. So really, it is us, saving more for the house, but also saving for just for a rainy day, extra rainy day. But also being able to spend that time, actually even stockpiling all like tissue paper towels, like stuff that we don't even think about that we kind of take for granted. And second factor. But just being prepared, because we don't know what you meant, like, we never been through anything like this. And it's just been able to be prepared financially and mentally.
Michael Lacy 24:47
Right, right. So, you know, looking back on this journey, I know you said like, even though you didn't meet your goal, you still classify it as a win, right? But you also mentioned like, Man, you know, I didn't have The honeymoon that we deserved or like, anything like that. And so looking back on the entirety of this process from October 2017 to now, is there anything that you would have done differently knowing what you know today?
Alfred Wilson 25:14
Oh, great question. No question.
I would say I wish we would have definitely took our honeymoon and just did it also would have been more intensive about educating myself about different means of making money outside of the nine to five. Those would be the two things definitely taking the honeymoon and being more intentional. Being more aware of different income streams, as you know, real estate vending machines, something that I can scale that could replace the income that we were devoting towards debt, so the money can work for itself. Yeah,
Michael Lacy 25:53
you know, and all you listeners that that heard the seven things I learned during the Rona episode that I did a few weeks back like you You know that that's also one of the things that I said is like, I wish I had taken more time to it was it always felt like it was something that I would get to like, right, creating a new income stream was like, it's always in the back of my mind. I'm like, Alright, I know how to I can monetize this, I can monetize that. But let me focus on getting this bag that I got right now. And like, focus on securing that. And now, like you said, I wish I had taken that a little more seriously. It would have you know, we're in a good place, but it would have put us in an even better place right now. So, again, I'm right there with you in agreement on that. So, you know, since you guys have decided to pause, like, what practical things have you done to keep a more balanced financial approach these days? Like I know, you mentioned trying to save for the house and like, do a couple of different things. So how do you go about achieving that balance?
Alfred Wilson 26:49
That's a good question. I would say just being one with each other man, and not to get all touchy feely, but if the communication is not right Angle be right, no matter how much money you made, you know, because we definitely were of the mindset of sharing finances. At one brief point we decided not to share finances. And I mean brief like two days that you know, we were just like shift road like she was doing a budget. And she's like now because it's very time consuming that I would say practical things will be definitely saving, being more mindful what we're buying and being being able to be flexible. Because I feel like for me, if I have a goal, I wanted to go full throttle. And sometimes that's not good, depending on the situation, and being flexible with, okay, this month, we're not paying that much towards the student loan. However we're are we're saving for the home, or Hey, we're buying something for our daughter. And being more open to buying things is not the role of buying things. And I think that's One thing as personal finance professionals, right? Some people portray, like, Oh, you should just be frugal all the way through, don't buy nothing, you know, skimp on everything. And as I'm growing in my brand, I'm understanding like, no spend your money on the things that matter to you. And don't spend your money on the things that don't matter to you. And the one thing you know, that's a very bad, not bad thing, but I'm trying to think is eating out like fast food, like, we spend a lot of money on that. But how can we make sure that we don't spend a lot of money on that, and that's what meal prepping and meal planning and designate a day out of the week that we eat out? Not everyday, if it's like twice a week, once a week, whatever. But those will be some of the practical things. Definitely meal prep, meal, prepping, budgeting, communicating and buying stuff.
Michael Lacy 28:51
Yeah, it's important man, you have to find ways to enjoy your money like and again that goes back to what I said earlier, like personal finance being personal How I enjoy my money maybe different, like, that's why I try to like reserve judgment, you know, somebody may be a car enthusiast and they go buy new cars all the time. And to them, that's fine. But like, to me, I would rather spend that money traveling and like neither one of those approaches is wrong. It's just what we value. And so I'm glad that you know, you have you have clarity on that now and you know, going forward to make the best decision for you, you know, for your family. So, I have to ask now, like now that you're not paying off that debt as aggressively as you were. I know, you mentioned again, saving for the house, but is there anywhere else that that spending gap is going towards these days?
Alfred Wilson 29:40
Great question. Buying toys for our daughter. My we're kind of thinking about the Montessori education program system. So there's toys that are geared towards that that kind of propels and celebrates the child development. So we're spending a bag on some toys, but they're licensed data toys like the wooden, they engaged the child in different way. So it is that's the spending gap right there is definitely cashing out on that.
So as for the development of our daughter,
Michael Lacy 30:15
I love it man that, you know, that's something that we were talking about before actually before Rona happen. We had actually went to a Montessori School Today and Our plan was to take our daughter she was going to start. We had a cruise that we scheduled for June. So we were going to pull her out of her old daycare and take her on the cruise with us and then when she went back, she was going to go to the Montessori but that's all up in the air now. We don't know
Alfred Wilson 30:38
what's going on.
Michael Lacy 30:40
We don't know. You ain't go she made I made this at home dad forever. We just I just don't know
Alfred Wilson 30:48
exactly of everything. They're like we met at the beginning of this year, and we had a goal of going somewhere every month like out of town every month for at least a weekend. And then Roma hit like we were supposed to go to like Chicago this month. Last month was supposed to go to Atlanta. Like, like you said, we don't know we can't do nothing.
Michael Lacy 31:09
Yeah, we say we were prioritized, like, for the first time and like a long time we said like, okay, every week on Thursday is our date night regardless. And it was tough for us to always commit to a date because I had a job where I was traveling out of town a lot. But I was like, You know what, I'm home on Thursdays, and we go out on date night and we made that commitment and like, it was working. We were doing something every Thursday night and Rona man. So but I do want to ask like, you know, because you're not paying off debt, right? and things like that. I want to ask like how have you continued to grow your net worth and like, you know, shoot towards wealth, even though again, you're not actively paying off debt. And what you were focused on,
Alfred Wilson 31:53
I would say is definitely building the approval for any brand and also invest in the stock market also has Investment club with three other people that went to grad school with. So being very intentional about investing in that. So it's definitely messing with the stock investment club, building the brand. And also just, you know, fine tuning our money management skills, because that's always going to change no matter how much money that you made. Life happens. So like we have to adjust, we may have to scale back, we may have to go full throttle something. So just being open and flexible with flexing.
Michael Lacy 32:34
Right, right. Love it. Love it. So, Freddie, you know, I've enjoyed this time with you today. But before I let you go, I always like to ask a hypothetical question, to get advice from my guests, to my listeners. So
Alfred Wilson 32:48
let's say that we've got a newlywed couple out there. They're listening to this. And one person's bringing in a big load of debt the other person not what would you say to that? Couple that to help them give them a little hope to move forward financially? Oh, that's another great question. I would say I mean, whatever the person is bringing in the debt, be very open and honest of what the debt is how you got there. And then the person on the other end, just be understanding because I think it's easy to judge no matter what the debt is, like, be understanding, and you know, the person has brilliant ID that allow that person to react the way that they want to react, but always come back to have a kind of clarifying conversation on a level set like okay, I had this debt. I had this plan, are you down with this plan and is debt and then I think once that agreement happens, I think everything else kind of happens as it's supposed to happen. There will be bumps in the road. there will definitely be bumps bumps in the road. As I said previously,
couples counseling is important
because you know, it If that's not solid, the money problems will be 10 times worse. I'm a very avid big advocate for that, and has helped us so definitely communicate, allow each other to react the way that they want to react. The understanding counselor,
Michael Lacy 34:22
I'm loving it and I'd second that counseling my wife and I, we've done it ourselves been through marriage counseling several times. And it doesn't always mean something's wrong, it just means that you both have that desire to get better. So I love that advice. Appreciate you. So final thing I have for you man is just share anything you have to offer. I know you've mentioned the frugal Freddy brand, but this is your chance man plug anything you have to offer and share where people can find you. Oh,
Alfred Wilson 34:47
yeah, well, my name is Ashley Alfred. But you call me frugal ready to find me on Instagram at frugal underscore Freddy. You can find me on Facebook. Is frugal but I have a website called frugal das Freddy calm, I have a couple t shirts that I'm selling one that's inspired by the living single TV show from the 90s called Living frugal. I have another t shirt for glish inspired by the blackest TV show, and I got tons of free resources on my website. So check that out. Also, you know I'm a part of an investment call vestment club called the cash lineal is a play on the millennials word. But we you know, we're all about us carrying the cash and invest in the stock market. So just encouraging, you know, our people, our age group to invest in the stock market, don't be scared of the stock market, we all got to start somewhere. So we kind of utilize that platform to educate people and kind of, you know, bring down those fears about stock market investing, because it can be intimidating, especially if that's not a part of one's upbringing. So yeah, follow me on social media for free, as well as at the castle finials. ASHLEN I ALS, but yeah, hit me up. You got any questions. I'm always there to answer any questions to chit chat live stream podcasts, all that good stuff.
Michael Lacy 36:15
Awesome. And yes, you guys be sure to go find him on social media. And just in case you missed any of that, or anything else Freddie mentioned, I'm going to have the links to everything in here, including how to connect with Freddie, and the books and tools and all that that he recommended over at winning to wealth calm slash, Episode 38. But thanks again to my guy, Alfred for coming on and sharing just so openly and so transparently about his journey. I really do appreciate you taking the time to come on and do that. All right, so now it's time for the win of the week. And this week's winner of the week is to prioritize your marriage over your money and one great way to do that is By keeping the communication open and keeping the communication on going, we've all seen and heard the stats that money fights are the leading cause of divorce in America. Now going on a debt free journey or a wealth building journey doesn't exempt you from that. We have to be constantly communicating with our spouses, because as people we grow, and we evolve over time. So we need to be mindful of that. And we need to be careful about how we approach this journey with our significant others. And I say that because maintaining a strong and healthy marriage is work, right? There's no way to get around that it is work. And getting your finances in order is definitely work. And this is all on top of again, just the day to day responsibilities that you already have. And so most of us say that we want to be debt free and we want to build wealth for our families. So then let's be mindful of the state of our families while we're on this journey, and one way that we We do this is we have a monthly sit down meeting where we recap what worked, and we recap what didn't work that month, then we set new goals together for the previous month. And so if you're not already doing this, I suggest that you add it to your calendar and make it a date night. Now, you don't want this to be like a work meeting or any type of interrogation or like a gotcha thing where somebody messed up and you're holding it over their head. But this should really be a safe place where you both can express yourselves without any judgment and come up with solutions that work for you. So as you guys know, my wife, Taylor, she's the spender in our relationships. And so there's some months where we're saving and we're plugging along and I feel like hey, we had a great month. And she comes to me and she's like, you know what, I'm starting to feel a little restricted feeling a little burnt out. And so we have to adjust for the next month. And then we have a conversation the next month about how that feel. And then we adjust for the month that comes after that. So again, this is not so Gotcha thing or a chance to beat up on your spouse for their mistakes. This is really a safe place where maybe you grab a bottle of wine and some snacks. And you really just talk like best friends about your goals, and what's working and what's not working for either of you and what needs to change. And that has truly, truly transformed our marriage. And it has truly transformed our money. Now, if you want some help with this, go download my monthly recap form on the website. I put this form together really for us. But as I was doing it, I really felt like it could be a help to somebody else. Because this form, it really just helps the conversation by bringing the actual data in. So you can see the exact progress you're making each month on your wealth building journey. But at the bottom, there's also a place to track goals. And so there's four spots for goals, which gives you two a piece where you both can say you know what, this is what I'd like to accomplish. This is what I'd like to accomplish and you can have compromise and all those and work those things out and put those on the forum. And then you can also recap the current month's goals and how you did on those. So it's a way to really just drive the conversation in those early days especially where maybe you don't know what to talk about. You don't know what to bring to the table. This is a great thing to use to help that and you can find that over at winning to wealth comm slash recap, it's usually like $2 but as a result of this episode, I'm going to make it absolutely free for the rest of the month. So head over to winning to wealth, comm slash recap, download the form and hop in my facebook group, let me know how it goes. I love to hear these types of conversations where you know what, maybe something wasn't clicking and a tool or a resource that you found helped you have better conversations with your spouse, absolutely love that kind of stuff. So hop over in the Facebook group that's over at winning to wealth, comm slash teammates, and let me know how it works for you. But that's all the time I have for this week. So until we talk again, keep racking up those wins one at a time. Take care.
Unknown Speaker 41:07
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